WHY oh why

So why is it that when you have something important coming up that that is when one of the kids will decide to cut their hair?


I had to take her to get it fixed, of course there wasn't anything that could be done for the lack of bangs.

We still had a fun and busy weekend though. With Kayly's birthday party,(yes I know her birthday is in June).I didn't want to have her party to close to my due date nor did I want it to wait until after he was born. So that is why we had it almost a month early.



With having "big families " it doesn't take many other friends to make for a big party. ;) Most of the guest were cousins, but it still was a lot of kids and I'm actually glad that more other friends weren't there. It was crazy enough.

Then after her party we had to hurry home so that we could all change our clothes and I could do her hair for her baptism. Her baptism was very nice and we had a few nonmembers that were there also. She was baptized by her primary teacher and confirmed by her uncle.

She looked truly happy to now be baptized. She has been waiting for almost a year now. She had been waiting for her dad, but I know that it was still ok to have him give the talk on baptism and have Bro. Thompkin baptize her.

Getting ready for Kayly's baptism

Yesterday I took Kayly to the park and took pictures of her in her baptism dress. Today she will be talking to the Bishop and hopefully we will be able to have her baptism on May 9th. I want to make invitations that she can send to family that lives out of state. It will have her pictures on it so that even though they can't be here they can see what she looks like in her dress. I will also make a few that she can give to her friends at school.
It was fun to be able to spend time with just her and get some great photos of her. I really liked this first one of her in the water. It just captures joy.





I love this picture of her just looking at the flowers and reflecting. I think that yesterday was really good for her self-esteem. People kept walking by and saying how pretty she looked. She says that kids at school are always putting down for how she looks.




This picture I took some of the blossoms off the tree she was sitting under and sprinkled them on her. I thought that it added a nice touch.


I love this picture because it just shows an innocence about her. You can also see all the great details of her dress.

A sea of mixed emotions.

I had my u/s on Wed and my doctor says that Seth is bigger than the national average. I've never been told that my kids were bigger than average.:) So he has schedualed me for a c-section on June 4th unless I go into labor on my own before then.
On the one had it will be good because James will be able to schedule his time off. He will be able to make sure he is there. But on the other hand it really stinks. I will have to go through a major surgery again and he is only going to be able to take the weekend off. So by the time I'm out of the hospital he will be going back on the road and I'll have five kids to take care of on top of trying to recover from surgery. My in-laws are going to stay with the kids while I'm in the hospital, but I'm pretty sure that they will be going home soon after I get home.My mom might be willing to help out or I might be able to get my niece to come stay at my house for a while. But it isn't going to be the same as having James here to help.
He doesn't understand why it has brought me to tears. But it is giving up my dream of being able to have a VBAC. It is the reality that I'll be having yet another c-section. It is the feeling like my body has betrayed me in some way because I've never had to deal with GD or water retention and I am with this pregnancy. It is knowing that this will be the last time that I'll be pregnant.It is feeling a little empty knowing that I'll never get to feel the baby inside again. James doesn't understand that just because I say it makes me sad to know that Seth will be our last means that I have changed my mind with the decision we have already made. It just is sad to think that this is it. I am very grateful for the children that we do have. I know that all of them have been miracles. It is a blessing to have them, when I was told that I would never be able to have kids. But, it is still hard to know that I won't be having any more. I know that with how many problems I've had with all my pregnancies that it wouldn't be a wise choice to have anymore. I also know that for me I'm felling like I'm getting to old to have any more but all of that doesn't change the feelings of loss.
I am so happy that we have been able to have these five beautiful children in our family. I love each of them and their different personalities. I know that the Lord has truly blessed us.
I'm sorry that my Blog isn't as upbeat as other peoples. This is a place that I can express myself with out it being in a journal that will be passed down to my family. Most of my family know that I have a Blog, but have never read it. So I can get all my feelings out with out having it be that they are going to see it.

Oh the stress!

I can't beleive that I'm having to deal with all this right now. First I fail my three hour gloucose test and have to test my blood sugar four times a day. Even though my numbers have been in the normal range. Then I'm told that I have to take this two hour class. I couldn't get there when they wanted because I have kids that have to be taken care of first. So they only let me do the second hour and said I have to make up the first hour. Then they want me to do a fallow up with bringing a food journal, so they can see what I eat and what my blood sugar has been.
Then I end up going into town a total of three times yesterday for different things. Which means I'm using all my gas.
Then I find out that James was beat by two young guys and his head is still bleeding. I don't know the extent of all his injuries because he won't go to the hospital. I can't believe that people would do something like this. I worry when he is gone normally, now I can hardly sleep thinking about the fact that because someone didn't want to be slowed down in traffic that he could have lost his life. I can't believe that with all these other people around that there wasn't any one that would help.
I know that I need to try and not get stressed by it because of the health of my baby. I just don't know how to not get upset by what happened to my husband. I love him with all my heart and don't know what I would do with out him.

It's a Boy!

I had my ultra sound on Wed. and we found out that we are having another boy. It will be nice for Teancum to have a little brother. James is so excited to be having a boy. Not that he doesn't like little girls, just wanted another boy in the family.We are naming him Seth Glenn. James is the one that picked out the name. He wanted to honor my dad even though he never got to know him.
I'm so glad that I have a doctor that is willing to let me try for a VBAC. I don't want to have another c-section if it can be avoided. I will do what is best for me and the baby though. My doctor said that since I've had three vaginal deliveries already that he doesn't think there should be any problems with me having another.
He also said that right now my body isn't showing any signs of going into preterm labor. So right now everything is going well with this pregnancy. It is nice to not have anything major going on right now. I started taking prenatal yoga to help my body to be able to have a smooth delivery.
James is planning on getting his own truck and becoming an owner operator again. He'll do that while I go back to school to become an RN. Then after I start working he will start taking classes to become an RN also. He'll still be driving for at least 5 more years, but we will be putting money away and paying things off.

Snow Days

I'm ready for the weather to warm up so that I can get outside and go for walks. I know that I can go for walks when it is cold, but I'm affraid that I would slip on the ice and start having more contractions and other problems with my pregnancy.
I want the kids to be back in school so that I would have time to just rest during the afternoon. With them all being home I can't really take a nap. They like school and it is hard for them to find things to do around the house that they don't end up fighting about.
My mother-in-law keeps saying that she can't see me as an RN. She had been an LPN. I know that I have the ability to do this. She doesn't think that I would be strong enough to do heavy lifting. I told her that not all nurses have to do heavy lifting that it depends on where you work and what field that you go into. I'm leaning towards pediatric or labor and delivery.

Family Time

It was nice having my older sister here for a week. I took her out to Lambert's for lunch one day and to a BBQ place another. I couldn't really visit with her at Jacki's house because the kids were competing for her time and she would go in Jacki's room with her and I didn't feel like trying to get my time in there.
Abigail was blessed Sunday. She wore a dress that my sister, Krista, had knitted. They took the dress off before I could get any pictures of her though.
Krista ended up getting stuck in Portland Wed. night. Her flight was canceled because of the fog in Medford. She didn't get home until Thurs. night.